Use language, tone, and motion to get yourself in sync with prospects.

Source: REPLACEMENT CONTRACTOR Magazine
Publication date: 2007-05-01

Beyond Words

By Joey DeMicco

James was one of the hardest working sales reps I’ve ever had the pleasure of managing. A tall, boisterous guy, he had a voice you could hear a mile away. He was always in the office or knocking on a door trying to put a deal together.

Unfortunately, his numbers weren’t as robust as James was. The man worked harder than anybody else at the company yet, at month’s end, he was near the bottom of the board. His problem? He wasn’t connecting with potential customers. They heard him, alright. Loud and clear. But he wasn’t building rapport with them.

SYMPTHY X HARMONY = AGREEMENT

Webster’s dictionary defines “rapport” as a “sympathetic relationship.” Other definitions given include a state of “harmony” or “agreement.” For our purposes as salespeople, it is the emotional connection you build with your prospect. Rapport begins in that moment when you connect with someone on a level beyond words.

Many people believe that this is a talent you either have or you don’t. Not true. We’ve all experienced rapport in some form or another, though we may not have been aware of it or understood how it works.

You can boost your rapport with another person by using language, tonality, and physical behaviors. James, for instance, just needed a little work in the rapport department, not a complete overhaul. Here are the three areas where he was able to make the biggest improvement. Consider them separately, but employ them in unison: language, tone, physical behavior.

SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE

Let’s say you and your wife are on vacation in Greece. You’re having a great time. But as you wander through Athens, you’re not running into a lot of people who speak English. That evening, you’re at a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant trying to get the waiter to understand your order. From a corner of the room you hear another patron ordering in English with a Midwestern accent. You introduce yourself. Within minutes the two of you are talking like old friends.

If you had run into this guy at the corner gas station back in the U.S. you probably wouldn’t have even given him a nod, but here the two of you are in a foreign city, speaking the same language. It puts you completely at ease with each other.

In a sales appointment you can achieve something of a similar effect by using the same words and phrases as the person sitting across from you. If your client is explaining how he or she felt about something and describes the feeling state as “super,” use the exact tone, inflection, and word choice when referencing that state. Listen to the words clients use to describe their problems. Listen to their tone.

Whatever you do, never talk down to the prospect. Similarly, don’t try to impress them with fancy words; they’re likely to be put off by them. People are more comfortable with those who speak at a level they’re used to. The biggest mistake you can make is showing off your vocabulary to someone who doesn’t share it. Remember, no matter what you’re selling, the prospect is buying from you because they like and trust you, not because you’re a human thesaurus.

TUNE IN

Enthusiasm is the most important tool in a sales rep’s arsenal, but it’s possible to clobber somebody over the head with zeal. Matching tonality is every bit as important as speaking their language.

Think of tonality as a combination of volume and energy. Imagine that you are listening to an orchestra perform. If one musician were to play louder than all the others, it would be disconcerting and would sound dreadful. And if all the musicians were sitting and playing while a certain violinist was jumping up and down, wouldn’t that strike you as odd?

Think of the sales presentation as a dance with your potential clients. If they’re slow dancing, then you should be slow dancing. If they’re doing the twist, shouldn’t you be twisting the night away, too?

Louder, more boisterous individuals may be made to feel uncomfortable by a quiet sales rep. Shy, introverted folks may view a loud, animated rep as threatening. Learn to move intuitively toward a corresponding feeling state and communicate in the tone that’s appropriate to it.

WATCH YOUR CUSTOMERS

Another way to generate better rapport is by matching the prospect’s physical behaviors. That simply means do what they do. Sit like they sit, breathe like they breathe, move like they move, talk like they talk. People find comfort in similarities. The more akin you can make yourself to them physically, the better rapport you’re likely to generate.

We of course don’t want future customers to think we’re mimicking them. Matching physical behaviors must be subtle. Take sitting, for example: Some people lean forward attentively as they listen, others lean back in their chair with their fingers intertwined behind the head. By mirroring their method you’re creating a comfort zone.

Most of the time people are not conscious of the way they sit, breathe, or the tone of their voice. It’s unconscious communication, and the more of it you can match the stronger your rapport will become.

Why is establishing rapport so effective for selling? People develop their personalities based on how they were raised and where they grew up. So it’s not surprising to find that your customer with the loud voice and erratic arm movements grew up in a household where his parents and siblings were also loud and rowdy. If we were to join him for Thanksgiving dinner one year, we’d likely find an entire family of loud and highly animated people. To them it’s a perfectly normal atmosphere; they would be uncomfortable in any other setting. By imitating their words, tone, and mannerisms, you’re saying: “I’m on your side. I’m like family.” And, as a result, they’re likely to trust you.

In case you were wondering, James the boisterous sales rep increased his sales by almost 40% within 90 days by just toning down and watching his customers. Remember to pay attention to people, and look for ideas on how you can make them more comfortable with you. Your efforts will pay off with bigger, better sales and happier, more satisfied customers.